I’ve struggled with depression most of my life, I’ve had some real lows recently.
I recently sold my car (an old Z4, but fun) and felt like there has been a void in my life since. I’ve looked at getting into a GR86 (have my deposit down on a Saphire Blue and waiting on delivery). I feel very conflicted with cars and spending money; when I’ve had my worst days, nothing lifts my mood like getting out in the car and having a long drive myself with some music. I come back and feel rejuvenated, the cloud has lifted, at least for a while. But in that moment, it’s been the tonic I needed when nothing else would work.
But then the flip side is this inner dialogue reminding me that it’s depreciating, I’m losing money, it might get scratched, it’s costing too much, tied down with debt etc etc. it does ruin the ownership a little. But there are those days it makes me smile, the feeling of just being out, heck, even looking at it and thinking “that’s so gorgeous …” I get joy in those moments and it’s all worth it again. Washing and keeping clean as simple as it is, keeps me focused and there’s something healing in seeing the result.
Does anyone else’s feel so conflicted at times?
I recently sold my car (an old Z4, but fun) and felt like there has been a void in my life since. I’ve looked at getting into a GR86 (have my deposit down on a Saphire Blue and waiting on delivery). I feel very conflicted with cars and spending money; when I’ve had my worst days, nothing lifts my mood like getting out in the car and having a long drive myself with some music. I come back and feel rejuvenated, the cloud has lifted, at least for a while. But in that moment, it’s been the tonic I needed when nothing else would work.
But then the flip side is this inner dialogue reminding me that it’s depreciating, I’m losing money, it might get scratched, it’s costing too much, tied down with debt etc etc. it does ruin the ownership a little. But there are those days it makes me smile, the feeling of just being out, heck, even looking at it and thinking “that’s so gorgeous …” I get joy in those moments and it’s all worth it again. Washing and keeping clean as simple as it is, keeps me focused and there’s something healing in seeing the result.
Does anyone else’s feel so conflicted at times?
