Bad Timing

Jayware33

Jayware33

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I put some detail in a previous thread about a shifter rattle but felt it's probably more off topic.

Currently working full time, been in IT for around 13 years now, mostly as a software engineer, but over the last few years, moved up the ladder and now some kind of leader figure, hosting meetings, leading project deliveries, enabling teams but still owning the technical strategy kind of thing. I can honeslty say it's horrid and spend most days hating it, working with people in these types of roles is hard. Recently subject to what feels like work place bullying, one individual likes to send passive aggressive messages, undermine me at team meetings and generally a total c**t. Raised to management but he's too productive apparetnly and he seems to get away with it, it's a small company too, so feel like I'm stuck with it. Anyway, that's part of it, but on a whole, I now feel trapped by my GR86. Having just sunk my savings into it, I now feel Iike I cant leave this job as I have no savings left. Add to that I am a new dad and finding things very tough there too, the no sleep, crying, kid being needy and generally feeling like im doing a sh*t job overall as getting grumpy now.

My car makes me smile when I drive it and I need that right now, but balancing that against what's happening right now feels difficult and want to hand the car back as a result. I dont want to hand it back, but understandly feel conflicted. I didn't have a choice with the delivery, as you know, they just arrive. Part of me thought I would take delivery and things would improve with my job (or id find somethign else) but it hasn't worked out that way and feels worse now, being trapped and forced to stay where I am in order to prove a salary. Without the car, I could take a career break and that £33k would buy me a full year (easily) of house bills and head space. Woul dget to think about what I wanted to do next, maybe move back to being a hands-on software/systems engineer as I found more 'happy days' in that lin eof work, away from the politics and people management.

Ach, this is more a rant and an outlet than anythign else, not exepcting anyone to solve my problems as we all have sh*t going on, and on the whole, it's a first world problem too: do I keep my sports car or cash in my £33k ... I mean, it;s not the end of the world (but sometimes feels like it is). This morning, I felt a bit on edge, well, pretty much all got to me and had a bit of a melt down emotionally and feel like I'm in some kind of brain fog. Maybe I'll get out a decent walk.
 
I think returning the car would be a weight off your mind. It’s not like there won’t be something else down the line is it? You’d be happier in the knowledge that you have some savings behind you and, you could then look to make the personal changes for a better work/life balance. I’ve been in management roles for over 20 years and some have been worse than others - you always get some knobber with a superiority complex, that’s just life. People generally see through them for what they are. If what they say doesn’t affect your position or your take home pay then they don’t matter one f**k to your personal life, just treat them with the contempt they deserve.
Listen to your inner voice, it’s usually right. What’s for you won’t go by you.
 
Happiness in your work/life balance is more important than money/possessions, assuming you've got enough to get by of course.
I worked in IT for a large corporate for the best part of 30 years and for most of that time it was pretty good, When I started it was definitely the game to be in if that was your bag.
Eventually I got hoovered up by another big corporate (Capita) and things went downhill pretty quickly. The people I worked with directly were still the same, so they were fine, but the whole working landscape changed.
I stuck it out for about 4 years, but became increasingly disillusioned and eventually handed my notice in to go and work for a small local company that combined my techy skills with other interests (as it's an automotive electronics company).
I've been there over 7 years now and I do not regret the change - doesn't have all the 'big company benefits' but everything else is better.
Until I decided to pick up the GR86, I'd been slumming it in a 12 year old Fiesta instead of all the never-older-than-3-years company funded cars I'd always had since my early 20s.
 
Alistair31 said:
Can’t you just switch jobs?
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I could, but tried that a few times now. I’m at the stage where I am not sure what I want to do so have some self-discovery to do I think before knowing where to go next.
 
Yeah that sucks, sorry you are having to deal with it. If it’s any help I have felt similar with my Yaris in that it’s using a fair chunk of savings when the final payment is due in June next year and I’m also keen to change jobs to something a bit more relaxed in the very near future. Part of me wants to just hand the car back, buy something cheaper and therefore I’ll instantly have lots more in my pocket but the other part doesn’t want to regret it, as driving the car is like meditation for me and always makes me smile.

I think you have to prioritise what’s important right now though and if there’s a bigger picture aspect in life then fixing that can be crucial, there will always be other cars and it doesn’t sound like it’s solved that need . If you feel trapped by it then some space would be well worth it.

I’ve always thought that ‘freedom’ is being able to make decisions about work yet not feel trapped by golden handcuffs - eg when we bought our house, we went for somewhere about half of what we could’ve afforded so that we weren’t stuck to our jobs if one of us wanted a career change. Similarly with cars. Admittedly that was with good interest rates and we don’t have children yet.

Anyway, good luck - maybe consider a couple days off as well if possible, a few years ago my work got quite stressful and I took a couple days off, gave me perspective and meant I had the headspace so I could plan to leave.
 
Jayware33 said:
I could, but tried that a few times now. I’m at the stage where I am not sure what I want to do so have some self-discovery to do I think before knowing where to go next.
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Fair enough. In which case I’d just hand it back while you have the chance, assuming it was just a second car and not essential for mobility.

Personally my decision to spend some savings on the GR was liberating, no longer having a monthly car payment and not tying myself into a company car scheme.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
 
Anyone who has a family and likes cars has struggled with the cost and practicality of owning something interesting. It's hard to juggle and sometimes it's easier to just take the sensible route and spend your effort on work and family rather than on your hobby.

I feel your pain with the work thing. I had a job I hated and when looking at the options, got the impression that I would hate most of the jobs I could apply for as well. I left my job, handed back the company car, bought a 135k miles Saab 9000 for £1,500 and set about being self employed. At the time (2001), my safety net was some equity in the house. It sounds to me like you have a safety net if you hand back the GR and that could potentially allow you to change direction and do something different, whether that be a new job, career break or self employment.

Good luck regardless.
 
Thanks guys - I've just dropped off the car but had the usual "ohh there are scuffs here and there" which is absolute nonsense. but Ill deal with that later. For now, think I need some headspace and perhaps once thing balance out, might take another look at the car market.
 
Jayware33 said:
I put some detail in a previous thread about a shifter rattle but felt it's probably more off topic.

Currently working full time, been in IT for around 13 years now, mostly as a software engineer, but over the last few years, moved up the ladder and now some kind of leader figure, hosting meetings, leading project deliveries, enabling teams but still owning the technical strategy kind of thing. I can honeslty say it's horrid and spend most days hating it, working with people in these types of roles is hard. Recently subject to what feels like work place bullying, one individual likes to send passive aggressive messages, undermine me at team meetings and generally a total c**t. Raised to management but he's too productive apparetnly and he seems to get away with it, it's a small company too, so feel like I'm stuck with it. Anyway, that's part of it, but on a whole, I now feel trapped by my GR86. Having just sunk my savings into it, I now feel Iike I cant leave this job as I have no savings left. Add to that I am a new dad and finding things very tough there too, the no sleep, crying, kid being needy and generally feeling like im doing a sh*t job overall as getting grumpy now.

My car makes me smile when I drive it and I need that right now, but balancing that against what's happening right now feels difficult and want to hand the car back as a result. I dont want to hand it back, but understandly feel conflicted. I didn't have a choice with the delivery, as you know, they just arrive. Part of me thought I would take delivery and things would improve with my job (or id find somethign else) but it hasn't worked out that way and feels worse now, being trapped and forced to stay where I am in order to prove a salary. Without the car, I could take a career break and that £33k would buy me a full year (easily) of house bills and head space. Woul dget to think about what I wanted to do next, maybe move back to being a hands-on software/systems engineer as I found more 'happy days' in that lin eof work, away from the politics and people management.

Ach, this is more a rant and an outlet than anythign else, not exepcting anyone to solve my problems as we all have sh*t going on, and on the whole, it's a first world problem too: do I keep my sports car or cash in my £33k ... I mean, it;s not the end of the world (but sometimes feels like it is). This morning, I felt a bit on edge, well, pretty much all got to me and had a bit of a melt down emotionally and feel like I'm in some kind of brain fog. Maybe I'll get out a decent walk.
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Give it back... I wish I could after the BS we've all been fed by Toyota...
 
Jayware33 said:
Just dropped off a few minutes ago.
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I'm pleased for you... It's a car and your peace of mind is worth ten times more mate!

The GR makes me wonder how the hell we used to manage with the Honda CRX we had when our eldest came along... It used to swallow up everything ..
 
Well I would have told you to keep the car and address the t**t head on. I have a hard nose for bullshit and even less tolerance for idiots, regardless of thier skill and value. Unfortunately I've had to remove many over the years and in fact latterly found myself heading for the same situation, as higher up the greasy ladder, it gets even more interesting. If the car is back, become the transparent leader you need to be, others will respect you more and as much as the journey will be tough - where can golden balls find a better role? If it's elsewhere, then build good succession planning and training. In life there are long games, and even longer games and in some instances it takes years for elements to pay off. But, what would I know! 😁
 
Jayware33 said:
Thanks guys - I've just dropped off the car but had the usual "ohh there are scuffs here and there" which is absolute nonsense. but Ill deal with that later. For now, think I need some headspace and perhaps once thing balance out, might take another look at the car market.
Click to expand...
Well all the best with whatever you decide to do.
This thread added some context to the shifter rattle situation which, on it's own, had me thinking 'what the hell?'
 
Jayware33 said:
had the usual "ohh there are scuffs here and there" which is absolute nonsense.
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FFS, apart from a few miles, you basically drove it home and gave it a loving wash! Are they taking the pi**? I'd tell them that you are willing to have it independantly inspected if necessary but, you'll be claiming that cost back.
Who was it that inspected the car? If it was Brian, he once told me that the whole of one side of my KonaN had been resprayed cos 'paint was his thing' and he could tell - absolute twaddle, the 'orange peel' he was seeing was an effect of the factory spraying and was across the entire vehicle. Even a chum's 911 GT3 RS has signs of 'orange peel'. Unfortunately it's quite common on modern vehicles, especially those with clearcoat.
They should need to prove that any blemish wasn't there when you took the vehicle away, not the other way around :mad:
 
911sse said:
Well I would have told you to keep the car and address the t**t head on. I have a hard nose for bullshit and even less tolerance for idiots, regardless of thier skill and value. Unfortunately I've had to remove many over the years and in fact latterly found myself heading for the same situation, as higher up the greasy ladder, it gets even more interesting. If the car is back, become the transparent leader you need to be, others will respect you more and as much as the journey will be tough - where can golden balls find a better role? If it's elsewhere, then build good succession planning and training. In life there are long games, and even longer games and in some instances it takes years for elements to pay off. But, what would I know! 😁
Click to expand...

Bedside reading in your house? 😅

1701099211876.webp
 
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